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Portal by diddledoop12


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September 7, 2011
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“The cube does not love you, you know. All Aperture technologies are completely incapable of emotions such as love.” GLaDOS’s tone of voice could only be described as bitter.

At that, Chell looked up to see the AI’s narrowed yellow optic. She’d been washing the soot off of the Companion Cube she’d brought with her, and this was the first time GLaDOS had spoken to her since she’d arrived. “What?”

“I know you are not deaf,” the AI replied.

“Yeah, I heard you,” Chell said. “And I know the cube doesn’t love me. But I love it.” Wrapping her arms around it, she gave it an affectionate pat, never taking her eyes off the AI, whose optic narrowed even more.

When GLaDOS didn’t respond, Chell let go of the cube with a shrug and picked up the wet rag she was using to clean it. She’d intended to go back to washing it, but all of a sudden, a claw extended from the ceiling and picked it up so fast that Chell didn’t have any time to react. “Hey!” She scrambled up and jumped, trying to grab it, but it was no use. The cube was now dangling just out of her reach, and she folded her arms, glaring at GLaDOS in a silent demand.

“I want to know why you brought this here,” the AI said by way of explanation. “Is my company not good enough for you? You have to bring the thing you love along?”

“You spend half the time I’m here completely ignoring me,” Chell argued. “I just wanted to have something to do to pass the time. Give it back!”

“No,” GLaDOS replied simply. “I won’t.” The claw moved upwards, disappearing into the ceiling along with the cube. Chell continued to glare, beginning to feel panicked. What did the AI want?

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” the AI sighed. “You can have it back when you leave, so long as you swear that you will never bring it again. I’m just going to clean it for you, because the way you’ve been doing it is highly inefficient. I promise.

Chell knew better than to take the AI at her word, but she sounded so sincere that the human relaxed slightly. “…All right. Fine.”

“Good,” GLaDOS said. “In that case, we can get back to doing science. It’s been a long time since you’ve tested.” A panel slid over, revealing a portal gun. Chell was tempted, if only to get some of the anger and aggression she was feeling towards the AI out, but she shook her head.

“Tell me why you care if I bring the cube again or not.”

“It will be clean, and there will be no need for you to,” GLaDOS explained.

“And why do you care so much about if I love it?” Chell asked, a half-smirk on her face as she realized what was going on.

“I don’t,” the AI said, too quickly. “It was a mere statement. You should only attempt to think while testing, because judging by the look on your face, you are jumping to conclusions.”

“I think it’s because you’re jealous,” Chell said, ignoring the insult. “You’re jealous because you think I like the cube more than I like you.”

“I most certainly am not,” GLaDOS snapped. There was a beat of silence, and then a very quiet, uncharacteristic, “…Do you?”

“Do I what?” Chell asked. Her smirk grew wider.

There was a long, suffering sigh. “Must I spell it out for you? The question is ‘Do you like the cube more than you like me?’ Think carefully before you answer. Remember that one of us has deadly neurotoxin emitters, and it isn’t you, and it’s certainly not the cube.”

Chell had to laugh. “You don’t need to threaten me.” She stepped over to the AI, who eyed her warily, but didn’t recoil. “I have the same answer either way.”

“And what might that be?” GLaDOS didn’t sound like she cared, but Chell thought she could detect a glimmer of anxiety in her voice.

“I like you both,” Chell said, reaching out to pat GLaDOS’s casings. “About the same.”

“You said you loved the cube,” GLaDOS reminded her, even as she recoiled from the human’s touch. “And now you are saying you only like it?”

Chell rolled her eyes. “If you’re looking for me to say I love you—”

“Of course not,” the AI interrupted, sounding disgusted. “I don’t need validation from you, of all people. But you should not love the cube either. It’s inanimate. It can’t talk to you. If anything, you should love me. I can actually respond to you.”

“With insults,” Chell pointed out, trying to ignore the fact that GLaDOS had just said in her usual roundabout way that she did want the human to tell her she loved her.

“It’s better than silence,” GLaDOS said, and Chell shrugged.

“The Companion Cube lets me pat it.”

The AI’s optic narrowed, and she didn’t respond. For a few tense seconds, Chell was afraid she might release some neurotoxin and be done with it, but instead she edged closer to the human. When she spoke, her voice was filled with venom. “Fine. You may pat me.”

Chell blinked. She’d been expecting GLaDOS to decide she didn’t really care enough to continue the discussion. “Really?”

“Yes,” GLaDOS said. “I am far superior to a Companion Cube in every way.”

The human reached out a tentative hand and gave the AI a quick pat. “All right. Fine. I like you more. Are you happy now?”

“May I incinerate the cube?” the AI asked. Chell’s eyes narrowed.

“No.”

GLaDOS let out a tortured sigh. “Then no, I am not happy. But I suppose I will survive. Just remember that you promised never to bring that…thing…here again.”

The human laughed as she patted GLaDOS’s casings again. “I did. And I keep my promises.”

“Good,” the AI said, her voice filled with venomous glee again. “Because next time, the incineration will not be optional. Consider that your only warning.”

Chell just kept laughing.

So this is sort of ChellDOS if you want it to be. Headcanon is that SPOILEEEEEEEEERS in the future Chell brings the cube back to be incinerated because since she has GLaDOS, she doesn't need it anymore. Which would be ChellDOS in my mind. <3~
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:iconkikane:
Kikane Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2014
Adorable snarky dialogue! I love jealous GLaDOS and playful Chell.
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner May 28, 2014   Writer
thank you~!
Reply
:iconshocker7776:
Shocker7776 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Lol. This was funny.
Reply
:iconrainbowflyingkittens:
BEST ChellDOS FANFIC.

IM SERIOUS. ITS REALLY GOOD!
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012   Writer
Haha it is not but thank you very much! <333 I'm glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconshibalove:
Shibalove Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
This one is so cute and funny ^^
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2012   Writer
Thanks <3
Reply
:iconshibalove:
Shibalove Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
You're welcome ^_^
Reply
:iconyourfaceyo77:
YOURFACEYO77 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL that's funiest yet cute thing i've ever seen!
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2011   Writer
Thank you! :3
Reply
:iconyourfaceyo77:
YOURFACEYO77 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
your welcome
:)
Reply
:icongayliens:
Gayliens Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:B Oh GAWD. ITS SO CUTE.
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011   Writer
Thank you! :3
Reply
:iconosidus:
OSIDUS Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
with crazygoomba's first comment.
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011   Writer
TY.
Reply
:iconcrazygoomba:
CrazyGoomba Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I likes it.


Zeus: so did i, but this version of my mom seems to be a lesbian.
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Thanks.

-no offense intended but your OC has really nothing to do with anyone else's fics ever xD-
Reply
:iconcrazygoomba:
CrazyGoomba Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
My oc? What and my story is a prequel to StartehDog's Your what story and a sequel to Love as a construct
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Your Zeus thing. Like. I know it's related to her fics. But not to mine and therefore comments about his "mom" are really kind of just lolwut~
Reply
:iconcrazygoomba:
CrazyGoomba Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Zeus: yes i know but i refers to all GLaDOS's as mom

so far i know 4

my real mom: (StartehDog's GLaDOS)

Your GLaDOS

real GLaDOS

and crystal pandas GLaDOS ( which is played by BigGoomba himself)
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
The point is that I don't like talking to your character.
Reply
:iconcrazygoomba:
CrazyGoomba Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
okay why didn't you just say so?
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
I tried to.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconkateboat:
Kateboat Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aww, this is adorable ^^
I like to think of Chell as Caroline/GLaDOS's daughter, but that's just me :)
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Thanks!^^ I generally like her as Chell's mom too. But she doesn't have to be GLaDOS's daughter to be Caroline's. They're different people and such.
Reply
:iconkateboat:
Kateboat Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah.
Reply
:iconcakeyplease:
CakeyPlease Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Fffff, you and your writing, making me like a ship that I didn't before. And, let me tell you, it's hard to get me to like a yuri pairing. It's just that you are SO GOOD at making them in character~
GLaDOS, don't deny it. You're best friends with benefiiiits.
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
:'D Thank you very much! This is like the one thing I actually ship. XD And oh yes, they totally are~
Reply
:iconcakeyplease:
CakeyPlease Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm a Chelley girl, but I think I've decided this is just as good! GLaDOS being in denial about it just makes it better.
They won't admit it, but we know the truth.
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Mmph, Chelley is not a ship I am too fond of. I ship pretty much everything else though. XD And I can't see her just admitting to it, haha.
Chell might if we bribe her with cake.
Reply
:iconcakeyplease:
CakeyPlease Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I can understand that. :XD: And she probably wouldn't.
What about GLaDOS?
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
If you bring it up, she'll kill you. XD
Reply
:iconcakeyplease:
CakeyPlease Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dammit, you're right. We'll have to take out her turrets and neurotoxin supply first.
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Can we do that?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconrunetrantor:
RuneTrantor Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Adorable, GLaDOS is a total tsundere, with her roundabouts that say what she wants, but sound like not. XD
'... do you?' was awesome, she cannot love a cube more than me! I am awesome! Smart! Witty! XD

And even complete with threatening! Love me or get neurotoxin!
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Thank you! Threats are what she does. XD
Reply
:iconrunetrantor:
RuneTrantor Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
And we love her either way.
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011   Writer
Trufax.
Reply
:iconditistomzelf:
ditistomzelf Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
*pat pat pat*
"feel better now? Because it did nothing to me"
...
"But feel free to do it again..."
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Oh god yes perfect. XD
Reply
:iconditistomzelf:
ditistomzelf Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I can just hear GLaDOS say this.
I liked this story much, Glados is so jealous of every competition.
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Thank you! :3 She really is jealous of everything. XD
Reply
:iconsilvvy-the-hedgehog:
Silvvy-The-Hedgehog Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Gosh, it's so cute~ Although um. in my opinion "patting" GLaDOS sounds scary haha. xDDD

But I'm a scardy cat so I don't rly count. xP
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Sounds a bit scary to me as well. XD
Reply
:iconsilvvy-the-hedgehog:
Silvvy-The-Hedgehog Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Indeed. xD

I mean, as awesome and lovable as she is in fiction...I don't think I'd want to get too close to something like that irl.

Especially if it was as human and unstable as GLaDOS. xDDD It just sounds...dangerous.

If you're not Chell of course. xP
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
Chell's just sprspeshulawesome~
Reply
:iconsilvvy-the-hedgehog:
Silvvy-The-Hedgehog Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
...They're friends.




WITH BENEFIIIIITSSSS~ ;D
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
OH HECK YES THEY ARE.

(:iconportal2gladosplz::iconsaysplz: "Benefits"? If by "benefits" you mean "she is not murdered on the spot when she steps into my facility," then I suppose yes, we are friends with "benefits.")
Reply
:iconsilvvy-the-hedgehog:
Silvvy-The-Hedgehog Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
LOL IKR.

...I guess that counts as a benefit? <: D

The pros don't really outweigh the cons though. xP
Reply
:iconchlowo:
Chlowo Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011   Writer
:iconportal2gladosplz::iconsaysplz: She does not get killed. I think that is plenty of a "pro."

I bet Chell can think of some more "benefits" she'd like to have -shot-
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(1 Reply)
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